Tristan Couvares Isn't Going to Disney World

TRISTAN Couvares is going to be emancipated in two days’ time, and guess what he’s going to do?

Instead of going to an amusement park, tonight he is going to host a live “Webathon” charity talent show (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=110541645678380).

Yeah, I know what you’re wondering – Who is TC and why should you care that he’s being emancipated and celebrating said event?

Trritan Couvares, right, with Lucy and presumably awaiting orders from his public. Photo from Control TV Facebook page.

In answer to the latter questions first: For two obvious reasons. One, no human should be held in bondage. Second, good will come from it. Specifically, proceeds raised from the somewhat secretive L.A. talent show will go to four charities, including charity: water (http://www.charitywater.org/) and Green Dot Public Schools (http://www.greendot.org/).

As for TC, if a certain Facebook page is to be believed the 25-year-old Manchester, CT total babe moved to Los Angeles two years ago. Somehow, goes the narrative, he found himself “with no job, no girl, and no clue what do [sic] do with his life …”

Eh voila! a reality show and star-in-the-making are born. Not just any reality show, however. “Control TV” made its debut last month on the Web with two groovy hooks: Viewers are encouraged to vote on virtually every aspect of TC’s life, down to what he eats and wears. By popular demand he inherited a doll named Dolly and a car named Lucy. One question on the table now is whether TC should keep Lucy, a 2011 Ford Fiesta, per an oath he made to viewers. Voting is trending toward him keeping his ride, but it doesn’t end until Tuesday (16 Nov.) at 9 a.m. PST.

Are you ready for this, “Control TV” is streamed live – 24/7. Check it out now: http://www.controltv.com/. When TC is freed from his shackles on Wednesday (17 Nov.), it will have been for six weeks.

One reckons such a traumatic experience calls for tonight’s jubilee at Café Was (http://www.cafewas.com/), especially if one detests fried hotdogs or doesn’t care to be burdened with a pregnant belly suit. In New York, the talent show will be simulcast at 9:30 EST during the aptly named “Libations for Liberation!,” a celebrity-speckled party thrown by Digital Broadcasting Group (DBG, http://http://www.blogger.com/www.dbgroup.tv/), the show’s executive producer/distributor.

Granted, maybe you still don’t care about TC. Surely, though, your heart beats for Ocean Park Community Center (http://www.opcc.org/) and Donors Choose (http://http://www.donorschoose.org//), no?